Sunday, 4 January 2009

A Brand New Bright Tomorrow?

Sometimes words fail me. I dry up. Sentences wither in my head.

The lead up to Christmas was second to none. This is the first Christmas we have spent at this house in this village in Hadrian's Wall Country.

We put up our Christmas tree taken in from the garden and the children helped to decorate it. Tinsel was draped on nearly every picture frame. Christmas cards galore festooned the sitting room and the multi-coloured lights twinkled merrily on our two trees and around our street facing windows.

Our daughter was one of the angels in the school nativity play. We attended Christingle at the local Church where the school children sang very sweetly.


Christmas parties. Many.


Christmas lights. Multitudinous.


Christmas carols. Plentiful.


Christmas sweets and presents. In abundance.

December 22nd. A telephone call from Surrey. Husband's father was in hospital in a diabetes-induced coma.

December 25th. Out of the blue. After Christmas lunch. Another telephone call. Husband's mother had been rushed to hospital. She died later that day.

I had been wondering, these last ten days, whether to blog about all of this or not. Nevertheless here I am.

The shock of it all is beginning to recede a little. She had not been well for some time now. She would have preferred to have gone in this way. Suddenly. No dragged out death.

I was going to honour her memory with a moving Catullus poem but, on reflection, it would have meant nothing to her.

She loved her animals...especially her dogs (all retrievers), her garden, her house and antiques. She was also a good cook. She loved it when her children invited their friends and their friends back to her home. She cooked for all and sundry. She adored that. She has given these gifts and much more to my husband. (Although he steadfastly disagrees that he has green fingers.)


Sometimes, especially towards the end, she was not an easy person. Her heart was definitely in the right place though. She was a very loving, giving and emotional person.

She brought two very special people into the world (my husband and his sister). Her husband thinks the world of her. And still does. Fingers crossed that he pulls through all of this.



So I have posted some photos of flowers here for her. (The above photo is of her cooking some mince pies in December 2005.)






She was a home maker par excellence. She never fully appreciated her talents and she definitely had these. For they were many, multitudinous, plentiful and in abundance.




She will be much missed.
May she rest in peace.































30 comments:

Lakeland Jo said...

I am sorry to hear that Christmas was so stressful for you, and sorry to hear about your husband's mother, and husband's father too. It must have all been such a shock. The post is lovely.
Happy New Year to you. It is great to have you back

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you, Lakeland Jo, I really appreciate that. It was quite emotional for me to write that. (I am so rubbish at opening up.) I'll be over to yours soon when I get my blogging mojo back!!! Hxx

Suburbia said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you and your family.
Beautiful flowers.

lmerie said...

Oh Hadirana! So sorry about your loss and your FIL's illness. Lovely tribute with the pictures!

Expat mum said...

What? Oh blimey. What a shock for you all. I am so sorry. Please pass on my condolences to hubby too.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss Hadriana and sincerely hope that your father in law copes with it all. Never easy to lose someone so dear, Christmas somehow makes it more poignant. My own mother in law died 5 years ago on 23 December. Like you we have our own special memories of her and always raise a glass on Christmas Day.

Your tribute to your mother in law is lovely. Thinking of you all.

A x

nappy valley girl said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss - what a terrible shock, especially at Christmas. Thinking of you and your family.

Sage said...

Sorry to hear of your loss, it is never easy and hard to accept when you lose someone in such a way but take comfort in the memories you have of her and of her gifts to you of those memories.

Tara said...

What a lovely testament to your mother-in-law. Beautifully and sincerely put.
My heartfelt wishes to you all. x

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

What a terrible loss at christms time...

I hope your hubby is doing ok and your Father in law is improving

You are probably exhausted, how are the children....

thinking of you...

Lindsay said...

I do hope your father-in-law makes a good recovery despite a terrible loss. Let us hope 2009 brings better things to us all.

East Anglian Troy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
East Anglian Troy said...

Shocking news - my sincere condolences - but a beautifully penned tribute to your mother-in-law.

French Fancy said...

Oh Hadriana, what to say? A big shock for all.

You put together a lovely tribute and I'm sure when you look back on this post in the months and years ahead you'll feel glad that you did it.

My own mum died on Christmas Day and it will always colour your view of what should be a happy holiday time, I'm sad to say. Let's hope the year ahead will be a good one.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you everyone for your very kind comments. We've been out and about yesterday and today. It is all beginning to feel a bit better. Life goes on as they say...

I think we just need to get back into the thick of it again. Hope you all had great and/or quiet holidays...

SJA and FF...so sorry to hear about your MIL and mum respectively. It's amazing how many people are affected by these things around Christmas time. I have my own theories on this (perhaps fanciful? Sorry FF!).

Thank you again for all your comments. It is much appreciated. I don't know why but I was dreading opening up our e-mail but have been much encouraged by you all...Hxx

Sandi McBride said...

Such an inopportune time to say goodby to one so loved...I am so sorry to hear this...a lovely tribute to who seems to be a lovely person...
hugs
Sandi

Ladybird World Mother said...

Oh Hadriana. What on earth can I say. What a time. Your poor husband... and poor you. Am in state of shock as I read your post, and cannot imagine how difficult it all must be. So much love to you. For someone 'rubbish at opening up' you did the most beautiful post. Your mother in law would have loved it.
And how is your father in law now? Gracious, what a time for you.
Will be thinking of you such a lot.
Hugs. XXXXXX

Grumpy Old Ken said...

i was going to prattle on about something else, you present situation puts it all in perspective.
I know its trite but time passing helps. Your tribute was just right.

Nota Bene said...

Oh what to add that hasn't been said by others here already. I can only echo that. You wrote a lovely tribute, and I wish all of you all the best.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you Sandi, LWM, Ken and NB. Things are getting better now and all of your kind and thoughtful words really do help.

We had word yesterday that hubbie's father definitely seems to be on the mend. Things have looked a bit grim for the last couple of weeks but he was much more himself yesterday according to his sister. That's the main thing. We were really worried that they would both go so it'll be great to have Grandpa South back in the driving seat soon!

Will be back on the blogging rounds in full force over the coming week. As usual there are mountains of things to do. Wasn't feeling like I could go back to blogging and sometimes I think I am wasting lots of time when I should be doing other things but I've realised that it is such a lifeline that I can't let it go!!!

Thanks again. Be back soon. H xx xx

PS: Troy your deleted comment made me smile!

Little Brown Book said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Hadriana.

I'm with Ken on this one - time really is a great healer. It's been 10 years since I lost my mum and not a day goes by that I don't think of her but those thoughts bring only smiles and happy memories now rather than pain and sadness.

Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. LBB xx

Gill - That British Woman said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, what a Christmas for you all.

I think you did your mil proud with the post.

I am mentioning your blog on a post I am doing on Friday (9th)

Gill in Canada

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you, LBB, and Gill in Canada. Sorry to hear about your mum LBB...but nice that you describe her as you remember her now and then.

I guess it is difficult to talk about the death of a loved one. The nearest I have come close to it..is Sheila Hancock writing about coming to terms with her husband's death (John Thaw). A book that is well worth reading. I recommend it to everyone.

I will look out for your post Gill on the 9th. Look forward to it.

Thank you to Suburbia, Imerie, expatmum, nappy valley girl, Sage, Tara, FFF, Lindsay and Troy.

We are coming to terms with it all now. I am glad I wrote the post as I won't be able to attend her funeral. It feels good to mark her passing in some way. Really do appreciate all your warm comments. Hxx

Catharine Withenay said...

Just catching up on the world again, and very sorry to hear about your m-i-l. I'm glad to read that your f-i-l is on the mend and hope your husband is doing ok: it must be a very hard time for him.

Best wishes for 2009.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you and best wishes to you, Catharine. Hx

Maggie May said...

So sorry to hear of this loss. I seemed to have missed this post altogether and now just felt I had to write a word of sympathy.
The flowers are a lovely tribute.
I personally would prefer to go quickly & suddenly but I know it is a shock for everyone else.
Thinking of you all.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Maggie, I agree with you...I think it is the best way to go (for me that is!) and hubbie has stated that it what she would have wanted.....so....

all's well that ends well...

I say that in the best possible way.

Thank you for your lovely comment. Hx

MsCatCalls said...

I pop into your blog now and then , hopefully not too late to say sorry for your loss and at what a time too . I agree , so hard to know whether to add details to a blog or not . On the one hand you don't want to trivilaise but on the other it can stand as a lovely tribute , which in your case I think what you have written does just perfectly . Regards from down the road in Tynemouth .

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you, MsCatCalls, I've popped over to your blog and had a wander. I definitely liked the stories of the training day and the "deviant male" plus the one about the lost passport. Fascinating stuff. Will be back for more.

MsCatCalls said...

Thanks for stopping by and for your comments ....